I can't stop feeling lucky after what happened on saturday.

I was still safe in little kelisa after hitting the dividers three times on a flyover.

It felt like a roller coaster ride when my whole body was hurled to the door. It especially resemble the corksrew ride in genting (at the brink of the hill) when i hit the divider on my left and it felt like i was going to fly off from the bridge. But unlike the rides, i can't afford to shut my eyes.

I can still feel the impact, and feel exactly how i felt that moment.

For once, the car wasn't going the way i manoeuvred the steering wheel . It went straight at a left turning. banged to the right divider. then left. then right again.

Luckily the kancil on my left that time went fast enough or i might just bang it and watch it fly off the flyover.

Luckily there was a guy who asked the traumatised me to get outta the car before other cars come banging at my car when they were speeding down the flyover, not being able to see me.

Luckily the car that banged the right divider ( too late to stop after spotting me ) didn't come after me.

Luckily no one was hurt.

It didn't feel good when i saw the dent on the divider yesterday. In fact, it felt weird. This may sound weird but i felt like i was reborn and i was brought back to the spot where the whole 'thing' occured.

I miss little kelisa. It broke my heart when i last saw it. I felt so guilty to see it in such a state.

Some time and definitely courage will be needed for me to drive on that flyover again.

raNdoM

what if?
the question i've asked myself the most
i've always said that i have no regrets in my life, cuz it's the decisions i've made that brought me to where i am today. I might have also said so because i'm lazy to think of what could have been and what could have not if it had been otherwise. So many possibilities. In fact, too MANY to consider that i've chose to just let things be as they were, instead of torturing myself with the endless string of what if's, not to forget the guilt that it'll bring about.


but since i haven't got much to do lately, i've consider a few of what if's.

if the starting point has been a different one all the while, then i guess the route it led to would have been something totally diff as well. So this was the first,

what if i was never in existence? will the people around me still be as they are today? have i actually made an impact on their life? who could have been my substitute if i wasnt' there all along? Would my parents actually have a third child then? boy? or a girl? or there was never a third?

CURIOUS. DEAD curious about the possibilities.

is everything actually written? and us the actors and actresses to play the written roles?
easy questions. with no perfect answers.

rare it is for you to say words from heart,
to do things out of sole sincerity
you've learnt to speak the proper, hardly the right
your mind and soul have long lost their freedom to voice
this is the way to survive
to live an easier life

grant your words total freedom
and bumpy rides will soon strike
what's the point then you might ask?
to smile when you're so unhappy
perhaps it's the benefits that your fake facade guarantees?
compensation that entails remains the only source
for you to seek consolation
to reap some rewards

hypocrite,
people may call you that
and to bear that bitter remark is never easy
again you can only bank on recompense
to do the healing job


you're tempted to stand up for yourself
but considerations of the aftermath
make you cower in fear
thus the overt condemnation
of ppl that go against the rigid convention
and the covert admiration
of their blatant act


to LOVE, to CARE, to SHARE
those are the first few things you were taught
but as you see the world for yourself
you learn to compare, compete and conform
and THAT
never requires any teaching


YOU've been moulded to be perfect for survival
to live the stereotype everyone expect of you
to develop hobbies that aren't your interests
to do things that arent's your nature


So well adapted
that you'll soon forget that you're adapting
and thus the true self will slowly make its disappearance
what's left is but an empty soul
automated to do what you've habituated yourself with,
but never to complete what you're destined to


YES
life is a party
a masquerade party
it can be hell boring or heavenly
depending very much on your ability to fit in

nic3 surpris3~~

hehe

felt so so appreciated!!

muahH brandon!

老豆五十四了

today's dad's burfdae, just one day b4 the widely celebrated mother's day.

the celebration seemed a little quiet as there were only three of us.

thus dad decided to bring blackie and toby in for the soiree.

they were abit confused at first.

but the cream helped them find their way.hehe.

the two angels i love the most

life after phuket -->

TOTALLY BORED!!!

Your Life is 51% Off Track

Right now, you're taking things one day at a time. Some things are going well, but you can't help but wonder if you're getting the most out of life. It's time for you to slow down and reflect a little. You can change your life - but it's up to you!

Are You Living The Wrong Life?

Your Personality is Very Rare (INFP)

Your personality type is dreamy, romantic, elegant, and expressive. Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 6% of all women and 4% of all men You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are innocent, sweet, and young at heart. You present a purity that many people find appealing. However, you are often tired of people treating you like a child. Underneath it all, you enjoy being babied and pampered. You have been known to feign inexperience to get out of sticky situations. You fear getting old and losing your childlike charms.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

You Are a White Rose

You represent youthfulness and purity. Your vibe: Sweet and heavenly Falling in love with you: is like falling in love for the first time

What Color Rose Are You?

Your Hair Should Be Blue

Wild, brilliant, and out of control. You're a risk taker with an eye to the future.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

You Were a Zebra

You tend to see life in black and white - clearly without filters. You enjoy being part of a group while maintaining your individuality.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

You Are 62% Misanthropic

Here's the truth: Most people suck. You are just lucky enough to know it. You're not ready to go live alone in a cave - but you're getting there.

How Misanthropic Are You?

"da" trip~~24-28/4

I felt like i have so much to say about the phuket trip, but with my mind totally blotched with a multitude of different images flashing intermittently, i really find it hard to pen down the journey coherently. So pardon my poor narration below. hah.

DAY 1 24/4

All of us met up at Mcd KL sentral. Took the bus to LCCT at 1145 am.

Filling the arrival/ departure forms at LCCT. Others went to get liquor.

John looking weird with the bottle.
[fr left:mishan, duresh, john, spenz, jeyan]

Awesome View from plane.

Outside Phuket International Airport
[fr left: me, ken, spenz, jeyan]

First Dinner in Phuket. Waiters from the makan shops at rat-u-thant road were crossing the street towards us hailing for business..haha....very desperate..

Lepak at Patong beach after we 'cuci mata' at bangla road. Nightlife at Bangla Road is definitely interesting hehe.

DAY 2 25/4

Ken and I went for a morning walk. Bangla road is practically DEAD in the morning.

In front of the Bangla Boxing Stadium

Us at Patong beach.

went for breakfast buffet after that. yummie. everyone gathered at lobby at around eleven. the went out looking for bikes. 7 bikes for 14 of us.

pumping petrol. oh ya, always go to a petrol station in thailand. these mini " petrol stations" really do cut your throat nicely.

Started our ramdom journey. went down south.

First destination, Karon beach. The beach where we spent the longest hours. Fun hehe.

After having enough of the beach, we took a break and had lunch somewhere near. We then went down south again to Dino Park and played mini golf. SUPER FUN..hehe...

Went south again, wanting to catch the sunset at Kata beach.

But we left b4 sunset and continued to Promthep cape. Halfway the weather took a sudden change and dark clouds were gathering, so we backtracked back to patong. Was caught in the rain but reached safely to hotel. Had awesome tomyam for dinner that night at Phuket town.

Phuket's Mat Rempit's

DAY 3 26/4

Left hotel at 8 something for the chetty and headed for coral island.

Boat ride wasnt as exciting as the one i took to perhentian, so was the entire trip. snorkelling equipment was lousy and we were left on an island after lunch for three freaking hours. Everyone was practically sleeping.

At night we went for thai oil massage at one of the many massage shops infront of our hotel. not bad. some guys were a bit freaked out when they got guy masseurs haha...btw, we have stretches of gay bars and clubs there too, so can't really blame them. had dinner at rat-u-thant again but diff shop, which was freaking expensive. went and did abit of shopping after that. bought some t-shirts and managed to get some quite good bargain, with help from the typical chinaman, john.

DAY 4 27/4

Went out looking for bikes again but mishan,darell, john, jeyan and ying ming decided to get a car. headed up north. First stop, surin beach.

Our bike

Went to bang pae waterfall after that. Nothing interesting. the waterfall is 1 km into the forest. so kinda like jungle trekking abit. it was SO NS like. had lunch there. Btw, noodles in thai look like kuey teows.

We then headed to nai thon beach. The waves there are totally cool.. biggest that i've ever seen. there were only a few of us on the beach as this is one of the secluded beaches..

WE left b4 dark, not wanting to get lost cuz the road there was quite narrow and winding, kinda steep as well.

As it was the last night in phuket, we decided to have a nice dinner. Went to Savoey seafood. I didn't order much but apparently the food is quite good and fairly priced as well. Oh ya, do have baskin robbins there, it's cheaper there hehe.

Last dinner.

TOMYAM!!

Day 5 28/4

Everyone did last minute shopping. WE left hotel at one something. Flight was at four. Had lunch at the airport, burgerking. Super expensive there, but they have triple whooper there. Btw, Mcd here has pork burger, and it's the best seller..haha...

So long, Phuket.

Last pic of us at LCCT. The end of the trip we'd been looking forward for so long. SIGH.

The few things i got from Phuket

and of course, memories. Loads of them.