[I'd never thought that this song raised so much of a controversy, a good song nevertheless]

Forgive, sounds good

Forget, I’m not sure I could

They say time heals everything

But I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt

There’s nothing left for me to figure out

I’ve paid a price

And I’ll keep paying

I’m not ready to make nice

I’m not ready to back down

I’m still mad as hell and

I don’t have time to go round and round and round

It’s too late to make it right

I probably wouldn’t if I could

‘Cause I’m mad as hell

Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said

Can’t you just get over it

It turned my whole world around

And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby

With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’

It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her

Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger

And how in the world can the words that I said

Send somebody so over the edge

That they’d write me a letter

Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing

Or my life will be over

I’m not ready to make nice

I’m not ready to back down

I’m still mad as hell and

I don’t have time to go round and round and round

It’s too late to make it right

I probably wouldn’t if I could

‘Cause I’m mad as hell

Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I’m not ready to make nice

I’m not ready to back down

I’m still mad as hell and

I don’t have time to go round and round and round

It’s too late to make it right

I probably wouldn’t if I could

‘Cause I’m mad as hell

Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good

Forget, I’m not sure I could

They say time heals everything

But I’m still waiting

DREAM GIRLS

Jennifer Hudson was seriously SERIOUSLY awe inspiring. Her voice i mean. Maybe a little of her cheeky disposition.

AFterall, she got me stop crunching my apple for the whole 3+ minutes, when she liberated possibly everything off her chest.

and trust me, u have to see beyonce sing the song 'listen' in the movie. This version is simply way overwhelming than any others. Especially with the look from her eyes that pierced right through curtis, to make him take back the words "no depth" that hurted her more than anything else ever could.

LISTEN

Listen, to the song here in my heart
A melody I start but cant complete
Listen, to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning to find release
Oh the time has come for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own all 'cause you wont listen
Listen, I am alone at a crossroad
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say whats on my mind
You should have known
Now I'm done believing you
You dont know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own
You should have listened
There is someone here inside
Someone I thought had died so long ago
Oh Im screaming out and my dream to be heard
They will not be pushed aside or burned
Into your own all 'cause you won't listen
Listen, I am alone at a crossroad
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say whats on my mind
You should have know
Oh now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now i've gotta find my own
(bridge)
I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't, If you won't
Listen, to the song here in my heart
A melody I started
But I will complete
Now i'm done believing you
You dont know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you think you gave to me
But now I gotta find my own
My ooown

guilt

a simple yet powerful word

that sometimes permeates every inch of you

and you would totally give in without even being asked to

though with forgiveness the guilt lives on

it may haunt you or

it may be a mild cut that will never heal

a thought that can bring you down so low

even when you think you've lived off the guilt

for those who've gotten the forgiveness pined for

lucky you

but things may never be the same

faith and trust are always hard to earn

but ironically way easier to lose

and once lost might nv be regained

not in the purest form at least

for those who are nv granted forgiveness

or more appropriately not granted the chance to deliver their apologies

sanity brings you nothing but hell of torments

you wish to alter the past

to save yourself from the void you've unwillingly brought into existence

to wipe the guilt from your life

and most importantly

to bring the person back

you would be puzzled at the things you'd done

wondering what thoughts were blotching your mind at that time

or were you even sane at all?

you would resent yourself for the decisions you'd made and thus the way you'd behaved

thinking that they were so not credible(for the present day)

and that

even a wrecking ball banging constantly like a metronome at the side of your head that time

would knock you inTO nothing near sanity

miss you, grandma

and i would do anything, ANYTHING

just to spend one more day with you

to savour the seemingly everlasting moments

to see you smile

beAutiFuL

AT Dong Zen's

mum and dad in the pic ;-)

~240207~

i guess it's still not too late to wish all chinese a happy chinese new year ahead?

The intensity of my desperation for a job is overwhelming!! God that can be very depressing. Only now do i know how awfully the jobless are tormented looking at the rate of even a person who is in dire need of a job but not for survival ( me that is) is suffering. Hmm..and yes we're talking about malaysia where the unemployment rate is relatively low. Well that itself would be a significant deterrent to migrate wouldn't it.? Ah...forgive me for my endless crap.........
Went to coll today for some photoshoot for the year book and met most of my coll mates..it's been less than a month since we last met but it seemed longer. weird it is how sometimes the time passed by just didn't seem to be consistent...it's perfectly accountable when we say time flies when we're having fun but sometimes when you can hardly define the time you're having (neutral i guess) the time's somehow cheating on us and not being truthful by ticking seconds away consistently. It has either moved faster or slower, and without us noticing it as we have entrusted the heaviest responsibility to time even before the existence of human. oh no before the human? then i guess we're already doomed to be manipulated by TIME since we first existed. Just random ramblings folks...

watched a couple of movies lately...well some aren't THAT lately...night in the museum, confession of pain, curse of golden flower, babel, the holiday, blood diamond, stranger than fiction. would strongly recommend the holiday and blood diamond, just simply superb. Can't wait to finish my cleaning work so i can grab myself some snacks, throw myself on the bed and enjoy the illusionist and dream girls. hehe.

People born on 8 - 17 and 26 of any month, are characterised by what known as number eight personalities. The planet Saturn is your ruler, a slow-moving planet and is considered as the giver of pain and misery, also Saturn is the governor of your own temperament. Although eight is the number of confidences, the life of eight people is full of ups and down and terrible struggles and changes. You will see a lot misfortune in life, but you are really brave and can face calamities with confidence. Eight people are of meditative nature, sincere worker, honest and reliable. Your nature is grave, polite and submissive. For so long you are a helper to somebody, serve him in every way and give him shelter. But when you are angry with somebody, then your personality takes the form of a cyclone and you decide to finish him. Inwardly you are soft, but outwardly you are hard like rock. You are a good friend, good relative, good neighbour and a good spouse too.

Hmm...80% true i guess ;-)

I do like staying at home, enjoying the pleasure of having the whole house to myself and most importantly, some peace. But too much of something still won't do anyone any good, and i really need to get out of the house, hit the mall or whatever, just to get myself busy. Yes, just anything to deprive me of the time spent pondering over things.

commencement of my longest break ever

it's been busy BUSY cleaning house since my graduation from alevels...CNY IS COMING!! it's both exciting and empty at the same time...exciting cuz the thought of getting angpaos and just anything bout CNY will induce the production of any positive hormones i have...even the noisy and irritating at some point CNY songs...cuz it really does perk up the hustling bustling mood for ushering a new year...and the thoughts of shaking my legs and no nagging from parents truly gives me the full drive to clean the house( though it's only valid for 15 days)...so, it can be ironically empty as it has been for the past two years cuz sis and bro won't be around...and when the house's so empty i will keep thinking back how it used to be when there were five of us...sis would be frantically doing all the last minute cleaning with mum while i'd be shaking legs writing some chinese caligraphy and watching those oh-my-which-one-to-choose shows/ movies aired...bro would be preparing to play the firecrackers, some of which he 'invented'...dad would be preparing stuffs for prayers...oh my, even at this moment, just the thought of all these can really trigger my emotional side...miss you lots che and ko!!*sigh*
so besides cleaning, of lately i din really do much...searching for a job now...desperately need one( with good pay)...check up yogazone..most prob joining in march...really can't wait to start yoga classes again and to expose myself to pilates as well...managed to meet up with my klang kaki's last sat...it was so nice just to hang around and update with each other...everytime i see them they do change a little but still nevertheless the same somehow...we're still LOUD basically...went play badminton with some of them today...so now am freaking tired...so tat's all for now...
tata ;-)