I forced myself not to succumb to that already droopy pair of eyes. But it was a weird part of the body that just doesn't seem to get the right neurons from up there.
So I gave in and decided to treat it a little, make it more zealous about its role -EYES WIDE "SHUT", still, after four episodes of Simpsons. This ain gonna work.

It just had to make its counterparts do the tedious work of wearing layers and layers of clothing, stepping outside and battling with the mad whistling wind. Ah, finally it's a wee bit more opened. That stupid pair of eyes.

It kept itself busy scouting around counters and counters of goods. What joy.

But it threatens to close, again, when it was back in the room. That dimly lit, soundless room.
And it did.

But at least the mind had its share too. Satisfied.

Thank god for Brunswick.

Happy Chinese New Year!!

Happy CNY folks!!!

This is the second time I'm spending my CNY in London, but it's the first time I'm not spending it at home =[

Dad called me at half past twelve msia time just so I can hear the used-to-be-annoying sound of firecrackers back home, and of course,

the sound that lil toby makes when his chain gets entangled around the ladder.

Poor toby, must be terrified.

Had eve dinner with a bunch of friends at a restaurant in bayswater. 9 dishes!! Great food i must say. Quite cheap as well, about 13 per person. But 900 ringgit for the meal still sounds abit scary i guess?

Took me almost an hour by bus to bayswater. If only the bus doesn't go via oxford street, gosh u can see for yourself how scary human traffic can sometimes be.

I was checking for mails( for fun actually) when i came back from dinner and I saw something for me!!

how not to miss home la u tell me??

for my dear friends,

Last updates from me have been ages ago, sorry bout that ;p

Before i start harping on my life, let me just say something awfully cliche,

Time do pass by very fast.

Damn it, i just had to say it.

Seriously it's so true, even if you are not really having a great time.

Michaelmas term was a quick one. I was basically busy trying to gain ( still trying though) back the momentum to actually work, but was hardly working. Procrasination was a loyal buddy who eventually chose to put me into a mess that took so long to clear.

My christmas break, just like the term, was so eventful that it got me totally knackered that i spent most of my first week of this term sleeping. In fact, I slept at nine twice during this second week of school! Spain was fun, enjoyed good food, good company and good bridge sessions ;p But I must say eleven days of travelling is abit too long. Things that made u go gaga on the first day perhaps would not even earn a coups d'oeil on the very last day. You are simply exhausted.

In all, Spain is beautiful. Pay her a visit if you can. I know the seafood would definitely make u not regret it.

Glasgow was, erm, not too bad actually as compared to what i have expected. Guess I went on the right time. It wasn't too cold, though the wet weather does get you turn off. They've got really friendly folks there, who speak in an accent that constantly amuses me. I lurrve the scottish accent!!!

Edinburgh wasn't that friendly to me. It welcomed me with a terrible snow storm but it was fun nonetheless. Going up the hill to the castle while battling with the weather was some adventure. I went there alone and meet up ah ni, who was there with her friends from bristol. Shame that we couldn't spend much time in the castle because of the weather. We paid 14 pounds. DAmn.

I long for more hols now. Haiz. Never contented, are we?

I am craving for coffee bean's blueberry muffin now. hehe. God that's so so random.

2007 was a year that passed by extremely fast

It was sorta a gap year for me, was working and doing nothing much.

I miss my kids in the kindergarten. How i wish they'll never ever grow up.

To be that pure, forever.

I had some major downfalls this year. And it was through them that i finally realise how important my family is.

How they always forgive you

and

love you even more

2008?

I long for the day I next set foot on the familiar land

hmm, a little late to make new year's resolutions now, am i not?

it's never too late for such things, just as long u do live up to them ;p


a friend once said to me that every second is special in some way, one being u never will have that second again.


me: u wanna go out with us? we're gonna do something later at 01:02:03 ( it was on 04/05/06).
her: why are you doing something?
me: cuz it's a 'rare' moment? we'll only have that once.
her: we'll also have this second once.


she smiled at me after that.


it was something so obvious that i hadn't been able to see.


well, not to say at all that count downs and new year celebrations are utterly meaningless. We do need more excuses to celebrate, do we not? hehe..


Just that besides having new year resolutions to achieve something this year, we can always set to achieve something this week, this day, this hour, or even at this very moment.


So, what do you think u can achieve right after reading this last word?

" What is the purpose of your living in this world? More importantly, what are YOU to the world?"


One question that indra used to ask umpteen times, yet one that i can never have an answer to.

I do, sometimes screech to a halt from being awfully busy with homework that comes with no holds barred, and ponder upon such questions.

NO. I'm not talking bout economics here. We're not going into the costs or benefits that i incurred or gave to the society.

but rather

are we meant to do something, with the precious presence of mind that we are given?

Or are we completely engulfed in the mist of all the misconstrued perseptions that we've been impelled to believe

and

TO just follow the path that we think we have to take?

There is never such path, only the blinkered ones think there is.

so before you continue your journey on the road that u think u ought to take and are taking, to be like everyone else, think,

IS this really what i want at the end of the day?

for someone like me who's already 20, how many more 20's do i get? 3 perhaps?

so, what should and what can you do to somehow, maybe change the world?

or do you choose to give back your presence without it being well used, or worse, felt?

I have not felt so much of satisfaction for a very long time
12++ hours of sleep!!
and i'm still sleepy, damn ;p
having people who love to party(in their room) a few doors away is not such a pleasant thing, really.
not at least if u sleep alot like pigs but do not sleep like one

I lurVVE wednesdays!! cuz i get to do alot of things that i deprived myself from on other days and today will be quite exciting i guess, second volleyball match and it's against imperial!! It's rather amazing how our team can play so well as A TEAM, when we've only practiced a few times. Not to mention that my team mates are really awesome people ;-)

But i need to finish my abstract maths homework before i get to hit some balls and kick some ass. I'm amazed at how much the subject can irritate me when i thought what we had in matematik moden was horrible.

I think a three year old kid can do better than me in this subject. Not to assume 2-1=1? Nah, that's too much.

i miss cheap food

i miss annoying my dogs

i miss annoying my parents

i miss going to midvalley and watching movies that cost me less than a pound

i miss having ice kacang that doesn't cost me 6 pounds

i miss telling what i want for lunch and dinner at home and having them right when i want them

i miss watching the big screen at home and dozing off with the remote control grasped in my palm

i miss being surrounded by friends who don't talk about internships all the time

i miss driving and not walking around

i miss shopping IN a mall and not walking down streets with smokers stinking my clothes

i miss doing random things at home

i miss playing fusball and screaming when someone scores

i miss wearing flip flops wherever i go

i miss having my hair cut at 1 pound

i miss everything at home

arghHHHHHHH

I'm actually way too busy to blog at the moment because of the workload(which really isn't too bad till you start lazing around and procrastinating too much). BUt, my laptop (which is 24/7 on and is right beside my pile of homework) and the one thing that has been on my mind for too long is really urging me to pour this out.

I've been seeing faces of my friends in malaysia(who are now in malaysia) here.

Doesn't sound right?

haha.

For instance, the first one i saw here was dharma.

Then, I met spencer.

Golokha was after that, i think.

and i met darryl last tuesday when i was doing my laundry

then i saw the girl that i miss so much, selina!(muacks to you too!!)

and guess what?? I just said hie to wei yi!!

Oh. One thing, they all prefer to be called different names.

I still can't get over it

I regret that i din manage to snap a pic of it before some putrid bastard opened my bag and took it away

I wan my cards and my malaysian ic back!!

I wan the photos inside it back!!

I wan my white elegant purse back :(

mummy..........i wanna hug u :(

kniod!

loooooooooong daaaaaaay

Met up with karthik at ten something this morning. Then we took the tube to queensway and met up with calvin and zi yang. Calvin's shifting to his finally ready room in college hall.

We make time to take a brisk walk in hyde park before starting the shifting game. The park's huge!! People there and more significantly the dogs seemed to be really enjoying themselves. Saw so many diff breeds of dogs(karthik even said"what the hell is that"). It was nice cuz the park does look very nice. It's HUGE. We din walk the whole area of 350 acres. And ya, I saw crows there!! But they sound diff, like zi yang and karthik said, they don't speak manglish but pure british accent. Hehe.

zi yang trying to attract one of the sprightly squirrels

ducks and pigeons and swans

Round pond in hyde park

zi yang::karthik::calvin

Prince Albert memorial

We had lunch after that. Had chili chicken with fried egg rice cuz i was seriously craving for something spicy. Din manage to take a pic of the food , as usual, cuz we were hungry. Salute to those who always manage to snap a pic of their food b4 gorging on them.

Anyway, the food wasnt't awesome. In fact, it was msg loaded and abit ehem sakit tekak for the price of 6 pounds for the meal.

We then went to the singaporean restaurant 'kiasu' for my much coveted ice kacang(guessing prob 5 pounds for one) but guess what? The lady said we can't go in if we're only there for desserts cuz it's too 'packed'. Damn this people. They just don't bother earning another 15 pounds when they're rolling in way more. So yeah, no ice kacang for poor me. woooo~~~~

It was quite fun carrying two large suitcases and a laptop bag(with a freaking heavy hp pavilion) and two tote bags and a few plastic bags of books and miscellany from baywater tube station to tottenham court road station then changed to northern line to reach goodge street station then walked to college hall. Pure torture!! But fun in a weird way. So many staircases and roads and more roads and more stairs!! Pity calvin. I think the suitcase he carried was bout 40-50 kgs. Probably heavier than him. HAHA.

But our effort was worth it. Karthik and I each got a drink from costa.

And damn calvin!! His room's HUGE!!!!! And it's sO DAMN NEW AND NICE AND HE EVEN GOT A FREE KETTLE!!!

But in hindsight, 25 pounds a day is way off limit. no money!!

Time to rest. My feet is gonna go on strike if i keep torturing them.

feeling blah blah blah

Soooo happy with this little black box that arrived just today!!

The sound's good and it suits my ipod classic perfectly!! Not bad for the price of 19.99 pounds!! All rite, let's not start converting the currency.

I am loving amazon. keke


For the first time I long to celebrate hari raya so much. Nabila aku nak gi bp!!!

This week's been quite hectic. Was tired most of the time and I slept in two lectures. Blame the dim light. Maybe the lecturers too. Hehe.


Well nothing much happened besides I found out the fact that albert einstein conceived of the atomic theory after having the wednesday curry in our hall and spending a night here. Who knows, I might be sitting on the same spot he once sat!! hehe..


And ya, I 'm going for ice kacang hunt tomorrow with karthik and calvin. yipEE!!!

cute!!!

I nv knew hamster likes popcorn!!

l.o.n.d.o.n

o'rite, i've been too occupied to blog about the place i'm staying and how are things going so far. But since it's the weekend and i don't intend to go party tonight, i guess i'll make time for some updates.

The biggest thing about the britons that i don't get is that, their life's pretty much only about drinking and partying and smoking ( there's definitely a smoker few doors away cuz the corridor STINKS!!!). And ya, you can see lotsa vomit stains on the road. Disgusting. Imagine if that happens in malaysia, with the hot sun and the stain. EWwness.

I can't really tolerate the cold weather. Seriously. I will get slight headache and bit of brain freeze when i walk to and fro from uni everyday. Without fail. The cold wind i guess. Just can't really adapt to the chilling dryness. I do wear socks and gloves when I'm sleeping at night, mind you. But it's been better this week cuz it hasn't rained.

I miss sweating.

The place i'm staying. Hmm. It's actually an intercollegiate hall, so there are students from UCL, Kings college, Queen Mary, Imperial and other institution under the University of London. A nice place actually, reasonable price as well. Just 15 mins walk from the LSE. I've read something about the hall and apparently someone was beheaded at the atrium(a place near the reception). Btw, you can check out the hall at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Hall

INTERNATIONAL HALL

The Main Entrance

Aerial View

Flats( for Students with families)

North Wing!

My room is the on the third floor and it's right at the end(left) of the builing. So you can actually see my window hehe.

The Atrium with the glass elevator

You can see how old this builing is. Lol.

my room

the view from my window

another one

another one(the park opposite our building-brunswick square)

oh ya, they have loads of parks here. russell square, bloomsburry square, gordon square, tavistock square, cartwright garden, bedford square...and i have not even reached parks like hyde park and st james park and bla bla bla...and ppl like to just sit on the grass and nibble on their sandwiches and read newspapers while pigeons and squirrels will be scouting for any leftovers and fruits(i'm not sure what they do eat, so erm....) it's quite impressive how they can actually find serenity here when the roads right outside the square are jammed with cars honking and the occasional ear-splitting sirens of fire engines and so forth.

The Hall is actually quite active, with jogging groups and basketball teams and yoga classes. SO yeah, at least i'll get to practise yoga once a week though I was hoping to learn ashtanga yoga.

This week was the orientation week. I had a few inductions that ranges from undergraduate inductions, ethical induction to departmental induction. There are quite a few malaysians doing actuarial science and i think there are 90% international students( or more accurately asian students). I joined a couple of societies and that includes badminton and volleyball!! I'm so excited!! Cuz i think they are really active and we'll have like two trainings everyweek(for each of them). I've also joined music society, from which i hope to rekindle my passion for choir. It just felt so much like my high school.

Lectures're starting next week and classes will be in two weeks time. Kinda excited. Hehe.

In the tube. Checking out my new shoe( which isn't really a good walking shoe)

i wan FOOD (@Chinatown with sis and bro)

doink and bear bear

I cried outta sheer happiness when I saw these two darlings in the box.

They've made it all the way from me little room to london!!

you can see that they are e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d , can't you? ;p

泪水

maybe it's the weather

maybe it's the new faces

maybe it's the fact that I'll be living in a place not called home for the next nine months

maybe it's the fear of not knowing the forthcoming

maybe it's because i've been staring too much at the wall full with pictures of familiar faces

maybe it's because of the different view when i look out the window

maybe i'm missing home

yes

i'm missing home

and i wanna go home

I think i did stop breathing and was trying very hard to hide my excitement when I saw the familiar number on my vibrating handphone. The person who gave me the greatest relief with her voice spoke when I picked up the call.

"Congratulations."

Gosh. The first word itself sort of failed my aforementioned attempt.

"Thanks." a somewhat quivering whisper.

YIPEE. Finally I got something i really wanted and yearned for for a very long time!! A scholarship!!!!!!

The last time a phone call did such a magical thing to me was when Miss Tan from the kindergarten called me to say that I got the job. Cumone, first job!! I was ecstatic!!

I was actually in the least of hope after the interview.

Her : Do you have any experience in teaching?
Me : Er, No ( I din think that the fact that my effort of teaching my friends( very often with raised voice) would have delighted her.)
Her : Do you then, have any experience of taking care of younger children?
Me : No. I am the youngest in the family, you see.
Her : Cousins perhaps?
Me: : I am the second youngest on my mum's side and er, the youngest on my father's.
Her : Oh, I see.

Though she tried not to make me feel so hopeless by laughing amiably at the facts I had to give, the doubtful look she gave had already told the entire story.

But I still got the job!! So it's perfectly normal that I went all crazy and hugged my mum when I got a job at a kindergarten.

Four months working at a place that had literally tested my patience to the limit. I am still hot-tempered, mind you.

But I miss them so much now!! And there are a few kids that I totally feel like bringing home, hehe.

Kids nowadays are S.M.A.R.T. They can memorize rukun negara with the "maka kami, rakyat malaysia.." thingy as well!!

I've learnt alot. I never knew that water spinach is kangkung in english and mustard greens is sawi, for instance.

By the way, I think I was only taught the alphabets at kindergarten, or at least that's the only I'd managed to learn. Hehe.

After two years at kindergarten and I was still writing "n" before "m" and "2" for "s" (I can't find any inversion of 's' and '2' seems to be closest to what i used to scribble).

Kids were way simpler back then. I wonder if the kids now still play guli and stuffs like that.

my kids

The oh-so-pinchable yunus

the insolent swee yong who gave me nick names ranging from suzy to zhen zhen

the class that have turned teacher sarah into a super woman with the loudest screech i have ever heard

the class that I had the opportunity to tame for two weeks!! gosh it was an experience.

the one on the right is kian ping, an extremely "dynamic" creature. It's so hard to catch him when he's running circling you. So you can imagine how hard it was to have him stand motionless and let me take this picture. And one thing, his sentences always end with "ar", like that ar? red colour ar? eat ar? line up ar?

the class I love the most!!

VINCENT!!!!!!

and yes, the star of our kindy, the super temperamental JUDY!!!
(a potential camwhore, the peace sign wasn't asked for)

I reckon music forms a huge part of our life.
Different songs make you feel differently
and one song can sometimes give you different feelings at different times
songs that made your laugh
may make tears fall another day


And memories will flow profusely when certain songs play
both sweet and bitter and some unimportant yet worth reliving ones
and to revel in them is such pleasure sometimes
though it'll make you grow more wistful than ever


ever felt irated when you hear a song you were once so obssessed with
but to find out that you've forgotten the lyrics when you are all ready to sing out aloud?
thus the sad reversion to humming and singing a few words in between.
anguished
HOW COMEE??!!


personally there are a few songs that remain my all time favourite
and loads that were fairly short-lived obssession
by obssession I mean repeating the songs till i doze off
and waking up next morning with a hangover of the song playing in my head


there are three songs that never fail to make me feel like tearing
Not so much of the lyrics
I'm more to a melody person

分裂 by jay chou, better days by goo goo dolls and run by snow patrol ;-)

I AM B.O.R.E.D

I have been so free lately that I am too busy to do anything.

That is what happened when you have such a long holiday. Coupled with the quality of utmost importance, laziness, of course. [weak chuckle]

I am seriously grateful that I have discovered the beauty of yoga two years ago. It's the only thing on my daily schedule that seems a wee bit more meaningful. Otherwise, I am nothing more than a couch potato who's critically losing her brain power.

Oh I have reverted to watching plenty of hongkong drama series lately. It's such an addiction, really. But when you start to follow too many series at a time, you will get confused if some of the actors/actresses appear in more than one of the series. A couple can very well be enemies to each other in another series. So yeah, that's the only that has been testing my memory power of late. Damn.

But I don't get a 9-months holiday very often. I will therefore make sure I enjoy every bit of it though what i've got left is another month. Well, less than that. Life will take a great swerve on the 25th of Sept.

I am actually quite excited. But part of me's trying quite hard to not think of the people i will miss. So badly.

Food as well, of course.

Erm, Tv also i supposed.

Toby and Blackie, too.

Argh, everthing. LAH.